What’s Not Nice?

Truth in advertising--there are no unripe or squishy strawberries in the ad.
Truth in advertising–there are no unripe or squishy strawberries in this ad.

My grocery store has strawberries on sale. 97 cents for a pint container! I pick one or two up every time I go in there. Today on my way between friend’s house where I was killing some malware and the grocery store, I was listening to You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Jen (I call her Jen. I feel like we’re buds.) was talking about how when we don’t love ourselves (see yesterday’s rant) we settle for less than we deserve.

As I looked over the pint containers of strawberries that have become pretty picked over in the last few days, thinking maybe I wouldn’t grab some today after all, I realized–I don’t have to settle. I wouldn’t take a whole bunch of bananas if I only wanted one. I wouldn’t buy three pounds of grapes when we’ll only eat one, just because the bag on the counter was three pounds. And I wouldn’t take the bruised-up apple on top of the pile, just because it was on top of the pile.

So I opened a pint container, and traded out an unripe strawberry for a nice one in another container.

As I stood there, picking out the strawberries I was willing to exchange my money for, a woman cruised by slowly. She sort of smiled at me, so I sort of smiled at her. Then she came back around, circling with her cart.

“That’s not nice,” she told me.

“What’s not nice?” I asked.

“You’re taking only the good ones,” she said, and cruised off, willing to speak her mind but not to throw down with a stranger in the produce aisle, which I totally get.

Generally I consider myself a nice person. If I’m handed a slice of cake for myself, and a plate to give to someone else, the larger piece will go to the other person, and not just because I’m trying to lose weight. I treat homeless people like people, let other drivers pull out in front of me, tip generously, and pick up litter when I walk.

So I didn’t chase the lady down to ask her what was not nice about my choosing the strawberries I wanted. I just kind of wondered at the mindset that I needed to buy the pint container I was offered, unripe, rotting, and all. Who was I being not-nice to, by only accepting the good ones?

It reminded me of the person who scolded me for telling Greyhound passengers strategies to keep a seat for yourself. Apparently this isn’t a rare concept, the idea that we must accept whatever fate hands us. It’s “not nice” to try to get what we want, even if that attempt harms absolutely no one.

…umm, why? As long as you’re not hurting anyone, why not at least try?

It’s not wrong or selfish to take care of yourself, and treat yourself well.

Today I bought two pints of pretty good strawberries. No persons were harmed in the doing. When we went to Florida and back, I often didn’t have a seatmate. No one was left behind, or crammed into a luggage rack to make that happen. Bonus, for that time no one had to put up with my cranky, unwashed self at close quarters. How is that not nice?

If there’s plenty of strawberries for everyone, take only good ones. You deserve good strawberries.

Mmm, strawberries…

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