Today it’s two months. And it hurts as much as the day–no, the day after. The day it happened I wasn’t feeling much of anything, including the ground under my feet.
I miss him every second. He should be here, damn it, dragging me away from the computer to go have fun, messing up behind me as I clean, giving Hope the joy and snuggles she needs.
The case was dismissed, as expected. And all I could think walking out, was that he died to give me that gift, and it WASN’T WORTH IT! I want him, damn it, not legal peace, not (eventual) financial security, not this big gaping hole in my soul!
I (wisely) decided not to trust my voice to deliver any of the biting comments I’d devised. I remembered that every other court date, I’d cried from start to finish, and this time I had a lot more reason. So I handed out wallet-size copies of a great photo of him and Hope, with his birth and death dates written on the bottom.
I do hope at least some of those apathetic bastards get the point.