We Need Another Way

Have you ever thought about that one inevitable line on nearly any form? You know the one.

Sex: M  F

Odds are you know the answer–and it’s there. You joke “yes, please!” or “as often as possible!” but you also circle the letter that applies.

Imagine it wasn’t that simple.

From here:

Imagine you’re me, six months before this, and you’re young and naïve and full of stupid, figuring that putting M will help them you treat you better (ha!), checking yourself in to see a doctor because you’re struggling to breathe. And the dude takes one look at your forms and your barely passing self, and refuses to enter the room. He just stands there at the edge, asking you to holler symptoms at him, and you sit there knowing that if you collapse, this man will pause and debate whether to save you or not. This is what happens when forms, bodies and cis prejudice collide.

She’s a transsexual. Obviously a doctor needs to know the gender of the body he’s examining–different sexes have different parts. But there’s no way he needed to treat her like that!

It gets worse:

Imagine how vulnerable you feel. Driving (what if a cop pulls me over). At the bank (what if they think I’m trying to scam my own money). At the doctors. At school. At work. At anywhere they want a piece of ID, anywhere they want you to tick a box that divides humanity into two. Anywhere they want you to fill out a form. Confess, little tranny girl, confess. Tell them what in their minds what you “really” are. Or else. And they’ll get you anyway.

Why does a driver’s license need “sex” on there? It has a picture.

I don’t know how to make it all work. But we need a better way. We need to think about this. Something so simple as removing the “sex” from official ID could make life so much easier for many people. Wouldn’t it be a step in the right direction, at least?

6 thoughts on “We Need Another Way”

  1. I hate to play devil’s advocate here, but I once knew somebody whom, if it wasn’t for the fact he wore the male school uniform, I’d have had no idea as to his gender when I first saw him. Since the driver’s license has only a picture of the face, I wouldn’t be surprised if some people came out looking either androgynous or the opposite gender (and everybody knows how much passport pictures suck). Which can be easily solved by glancing at the person’s name, but if the person’s name is something like Quinn or Jamie, there’s a problem. And sure, you could ask or, y’know, look at the body in front of you (if they’re not wearing clothes that obscure their form), but then you’ll get the answer that should’ve been on the card in the first place.

    Acceptance is the issue, not the option on your driver’s license. If somebody is conflicted as to their true identity, it’s not the system’s fault.

    Unless you’re referring to what the heck you select when you’re a man in a girl’s body, then there should be a system worked out as to how you do select it, if there’s not one already.

  2. Well, yeah–that’s kind of the point. If a police officer looks at a picture on a driver’s license and sees the person who handed it to him, all is well. If he looks and sees the picture of a woman, but the card says it’s a man–well, then there’s some explaining to do–and why should she have to? The ID could do its job without “outing” her as a “freak.”

    And YES, there should be a better system. Here’s how it is at the moment in the US–live as, say, a woman for a year, then get the operation, THEN get your paperwork changed. What if you need to go to the doctor in that year? Get pulled over by a police officer? Need or want to leave the country?

    What if you can’t afford the operation? You can NEVER change your information. And every person you show your license to knows what you “really” are. If you write a check in a restaurant. If you need to get money from the bank. Use a credit card. Rent a car. Get a library card. Get a drink in a bar.

    We all have things we don’t share with just anyone. What if your secret was on your ID?

    (Passport pictures aren’t unrecognizable, btw. They just always make you look your absolute worst.)

  3. If you’re getting an op, then it’s not much of a secret anymore, and that’s your responsibility to deal with. It’s awful and horrible, but if you’re going to out yourself in one way you have to deal with what happens when you do in the others.

  4. That’s the problem–until a person can GET the operation, they’re treated like freaks. It’s not a choice to be transsexual, any more than being gay is. So why not change something so simple to stop singling them out?

    It’s like if your driver’s license has a mandatory hair-color question. It says “blonde or brunette?” and your hair is red. Either dye your hair–pretend to be someone you’re not–or lie on the form. When anyone can see from the picture that your hair is red.

    What if you dye your hair, but need your ID sometime when your roots are showing?

  5. IDs are generally expected to date, so I don’t think anybody’d bat an eyelid or get so nitpicky there, especially over something so stupid if “red” isn’t even an option. People don’t generally care what colour your hair is or condemn you for it unless it’s something whacky and out there, and even then they tend to only act mildly annoyed.

    As for changing something so simple – I assume there actually is another valid reason as to why they insist on you putting your gender on your ID, past what I’ve already mentioned. Perhaps they need the data for statistics or god knows what, but removing the gender selection altogether may cause more trouble. I don’t know, I don’t work at the places that deal with it.

    But if I’ve misread this entire thing and the question is just removing the actual displayed data on the ID and NOT suddenly removing it from forms that need filling in, I don’t see why not. *Shrugs*

    If it were accepted more widely, people wouldn’t have to feel ashamed to admit it.

    1. Well, that’s one thing I think needs to be done–just take it off there. It’s not relevant. Honestly, who besides your doctor needs to know what sex you are without you wanting to tell them?

      Yes, in a perfect world it wouldn’t matter. But you and I know we don’t live in one of those. *hug*

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