Writer-Gifts: Hints and Tips for the Non-Writers Who Love Us

This article was originally written for Fairfield County Writers, now Full Coverage Writers.

When you love a writer, gift-giving can be a horror story. If you've ever tried to find just the right pen, or to locate a form of notebook they'll use, but don't already have fifty of, you know I speak the truth. A zombie dog is easier to find than the perfect writer-gift, and sewer-dwelling clowns are less dangerous than getting it wrong.

Fear not. Your wise and inscrutable mentor is here to help.

The first option is, of course, the easy solution: give a gift card. Bookstores and office supply stores hold an irresistible allure for most writers, and it's hard for you to go wrong here. Just think--with a few minutes' effort, you become the hero. Not only that, but you get to sit safely at home while your writer dares the store of his/her dreams, and when they come home happy, mussed, and flushed, you can smile knowing you did that.

If, however, you are one of those who believes gift cards are for wimps, read on.

Maybe your writer goes a little too crazy in office supply stores, and you'd like to minimize the madness. The gift of organizational materials is never wrong. Pretty file folders, post-it notes in every size, index cards in many colors, a whiteboard big enough to plot an entire trilogy... As with other non-gift-card items, it's good to know their tastes. Giving bunny-stamps when your writer loves kitties is Not Good.

Here's an idea--a stapler, pair of scissors, ruler, drawing pencils, graph paper--buy anything in the store they don't already have, individually wrap, place in pretty basket, and set it on their desk. That's a sight to make a writer smile!

Next up, a worthy cause--is your writer a NaNoer? Then the place to shop is the NaNoWriMo store (https://store.lettersandlight.org/merchandise.) With a selection ranging from hoodies to coffee mugs to a poster of happy woodland animals frantically writing, the NaNoWriMo store supplies the needs of many a writer's helper, and your purchase helps keep the dream alive. Win/win and more win, here.

Of course, the NaNo store is not all that's out there. Does your writer make a soundtrack of appropriate music for his/her project? An iTunes card may be just the thing.

Books are always a good choice, for what writer wasn't a reader first? An e-reader can satisfy your writer's love for both reading and gadgets. Do your research! They are not all created equal, and some have unsavory strings attached.

Non-electronic book choices might include an excellent dictionary, a fat thesaurus, books on writing...and if you really know their taste, you might even dare fiction.

Candles usually go well. Soft flickering light can help to set a mood for writing romance or fantasy or both. Also, fire. Writers like fire. It's...not something we talk about, but it's there.

Tea is a civilized drink often enjoyed by writers. A cup of tea can soothe the savage muse, and bring us back to our work refreshed and strengthened. Seriously. Never underestimate the power of tea. Gift packages are easy to locate, and a tea set is an elegant gift. You can even find an indivdual tea pot such as Tea For One, and hand-decorate a cup or mug.

Snacks. Know your writer, here! As with books, it is easy to go wrong. Is your writer a lover of smooth creamy milk chocolate? Or do they have a fascination for the dark depths of bittersweet? Are they one of the brash souls combining passions in a chocolate-covered espresso bean? Gummy candy is a favorite among those who do not worship the great god Chocolate. Whatever their preference, a plastic bag of candy unceremoniously handed over will not impress. Get creative here. Put it in a pretty box. Hide it in a pretty tin. This will also help keep your beloved's bottom from expanding, if the candy is not in immediate sight. (Not replenishing the supply quickly will also help prevent bottom-spread, but this could be a dangerous move.)

Are you short on cash? You're fortunate to love a writer, then! We are a sentimental lot, even the most hardened among us, and the thought counts for a lot. Some ideas: create a coupon book of household chores you'll complete when your writer is engulfed in wrestling a difficult scene. Take them on an Inspiration Day--museum, hiking, zoo--it depends on what they are trying to write. I tend to do a lot of world-building at the zoo, looking at the animals and the habitats made for them.

Last, but certainly not least--when inspiration and skill and everything else fail your writer, as they will do sometimes, comfort will be needed. You have a choice--provide a woobie, or be a woobie. Inanimate woobies are comfort items--think Linus (from Peanuts--oh come on, everyone knows Peanuts!) and his blanket. This is never a bad plan. However, being a woobie--though hard (frustrated writers are notoriously unpredictable, and can be vicious when cornered) can be extremely rewarding. Your job would be to provide aid, comfort, tissues, chocolate--pretty much anything mentioned above, but as needed instead of on a certain day.

And if you do it well, you'll be the best gift a writer could ask for. After a great agent or a fantastic book contract or an interview on Oprah, anyway.

(Writers, leave this article lying around in a few unobtrusive places, such as the magazine rack, the car visor, super-glued to the TV screen...get creative. But you should probably black out these instructions--and anything in my list you don't want--before you do so. Highlight your favored choices.)