Homesick for the Inside of My Head

OMG no matter how much I need it, I hate being between projects!

I have a lot to do, though. I’m not so good at writing boundaries–when I’m deep in a project (especially one fast approaching a deadline, cough) I don’t do other things.† Website maintenance. Home maintenance. Relationships. *shifty eyes* All fall by the wayside.

When I’m writing,  I think about it all the time. I feel like I’m wasting time if I’m doing other things–reading a book, say, or watching a movie. Thinking about a book that isn’t the one I’m in. I think it yields pretty good rewards, and it certainly makes me happy. I’m not looking to change that. (yes, yes, you can give me your speeches on moderation if you like. I’m sure you’ll say something I haven’t heard before.)

Now, though, is the time of catch-up. I have a list ranging from “laundry!” to “Update Joomla!” passing through “talk to my friends!” My world, my life, is not empty. It only feels that way.

You see, I’m homesick. I miss my imaginary friends. My worlds. The brilliant amazing process, start to finish.

I’ve said it before, but I feel half-alive when I’m not in a project. I feel like I stumble around in a daze, wishing I could make my brain work. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? It doesn’t work as hard when I’m not writing/editing, so it’s hard to feel like it’s working at all. I’m on a lower level. My life is less…alive.

When me and my muses are on a roll, it’s like Mickey in the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. All of Creation dances to our will.

I guess I’d be an idiot not to miss that, hmm?


† Unless I am avoiding my project. Then all bets are off. I might even be found scrubbing the grout in the bathroom if I’m avoiding something.

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